This is 30

All names in this post are changed to protect the old and innocent.

She felt bad that she kept having to leave me alone at the table. First it was to go get water. And then it was to go order ice cream.

No, she wasn’t extremely hungry or thirsty. She was trying to subdue her tastebuds that were on fire at the moment.

Samantha and I met up for dinner at a place that has take-out chicken sandwiches. She assured me that the tofu sandwiches (for this vegetarian) were also delicious. You can choose the level of spiciness of your sandwich and I ordered mine “medium” while Sam decided to go for “hot.” She said she ate there before and ordered medium but that she felt like it wasn’t spicy enough.

Well, folks, we’ve learned that there is a big difference between “medium” and “hot” at this place. While I was scarfing down my sandwich, she could barely eat hers.

“Kristin, what’s wrong with me? I’m in pain!” she said.

It’s one of those scenes that you want to be laughing at, but it actually didn’t come across as funny to me. I felt bad because there was nothing I could do to help her. (And she clearly was not in the position to be laughing).

“Do you want some of my sandwich?” I offered.

Sam said it was too late. Her mouth was already burning. She went back for more water at the self-serve station and left a little later again to order vanilla ice cream in hopes that the cold cream would off-set the burning sensation in her mouth.

“Is this what it’s like to get old?” she said while half laughing. Or, was it I who said that to try to lighten her mood?

Either way, maybe this is what getting old is like. Most of my friends and I are now 30, or about to approach 30.

I have one friend, Brandy, who just got back surgery last week. Yes, back surgery! And, just like me she is only 30 years old! And, I have another friend, Maggie, who is about to get a colonoscopy because she has been having unresolved gastrointestinal problems.

Maybe this is the 30 that no one talks or writes (or posts on social media) about.

Except that I have been constantly writing and reminding you all about my year-long running injury!

We hear stories or see Facebook posts about Judy from high school’s new baby boy, or Agatha and her husband’s new million-dollar house or Angie’s elaborate wedding in the Bahamas.

We don’t hear the stories about the surgeries, doctor visits or that time your friend Sam could barely eat her dinner because she ordered it too spicy.

So, let’s be real. (I guess) this is 30.

Knowing your strengths

I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs personality test a few times but always took it with a grain of salt. After all, depending on my mood, I swing between getting an “I” or “E” (so, introverted or extroverted).

Recently at work we took the Clifton Strengths assessment. I’d never heard of the test before but it was pretty eye-opening. Based on many questions answered, it assesses your greatest strengths. (They call them “themes” and there are more than 30 themes to be placed into!)

In a workplace, knowing one another’s strengths helps with building better teams and thus producing better, timely work.

My top five strengths include: responsibility, individualization, analytical, strategic and achiever.

The “individualization” one first caught me by surprise because I thought it meant that I preferred to work as an individual and (essentially didn’t want to be around other people). It’s actually not that at all. When it comes to Clifton Strengths, individualization means you are intrigued by the unique qualities each person has. You don’t like to group people into “types” but would rather know how each person is special and different.

I definitely have a “get it done” attitude which is where the “responsibility” and “achiever” themes come from. I don’t always associate myself as a super analytical and strategic person but I guess those must come from my journalistic upbringing. I learned that you need facts to prove things. You need to write/report based off of known knowledge, not just what people may say.

Knowing these strengths goes beyond being helpful in a work setting. They can be applied to your personal life and goals as well.

We don’t always know exactly what our strengths are. Or, is everyone just way more self-aware than I am?

Something non-running and non-not running-related to talk about for once 🙂

Moving forward

As an inured runner, I have never wanted to run more than I have wanted to today. (Maybe tonight will be my comeback to running?)

As an American, I have never been so embarrassed and ashamed of my country.

I went to bed just before midnight (Pacific time). I didn’t want to wait for the election to be called. I wasn’t going to watch him give his acceptance speech.

When I woke up this morning, I had an ever-so-slight glimmer of hope. Maybe something changed? Maybe the ballots got counted incorrectly? Maybe Florida had a recount? Maybe there was a miracle?

No.

I scrolled through my Facebook feed and read through countless posts from friends, former classmates and colleagues, mutual friends, teammates and family members. They all had similar sentiments. They are heartbroken. They are deeply saddened. They are scared for communities that this man has specifically targeted. They are scared for our country as a whole. They don’t know how to explain this to their children, to their students. They are angry. They are furious. They are confused.

I cried multiple times getting ready for work.

Then I called my mom and she (sort of) put things into perspective.

Nothing will change in the immediate immediate future. We cannot be sad for the next four years. 

And, she also reminded me that here in Seattle, we live in an unrealistic version of society. Seattle is very liberal. I do not know a single people who voted for this man. But, for the rest of the country, people have drastically different opinions. They are uneducated. They will therefore buy into the scare-tactics that were dished out to them. In a sense, this man provides a different kind of hope for them.

How do we reach these people? How do we come together? How do we move forward?

 

We will never really understand each other

“I just feel so bad for you that you’ve never been able to experience that,” he said.

My friend wasn’t trying to be condescending or demeening.

I need eight hours of sleep a night to feel good the next day. Nine and I’ll feel great. Anything less than seven-and-a-half and I’m done for.

But, if I go to sleep late (as in, any time after midnight), it doesn’t matter how many hours of sleep I’ve clocked in that night/morning, I’ll still feel tired the next day just from the fact that I went to bed so late.

And, that’s what Collin was getting at. He felt “bad for me” that I couldn’t party it up to the wee hours and still have an exciting adventure-filled day the following day. Instead, the next day would be shot for me. I’d be in a haze. I’d be tired. I’d want to nap even though I don’t usually like naps.

“But you slept for nine hours!” he would exclaim.

It wouldn’t matter though. And, he just wouldn’t understand how my body could not function the next day even though I received “my sufficient hours of Zs.”

Sometimes, we are never going to fully understand one another. And, I’m not talking empathy. I’m talking about scenarios like this one. Or, scenarios where someone finds it uncomfortable to poop at his/her significant other’s house even though they have been dating for nearly a year. So, they make up excuses like they need to pick up extra gym clothes from their own house, or they need to let the dog out, when really, it’s because they need to go use the restroom. (Yes, this is a real story that a real person has told me. It happens and I will never understand. If you gotta go, you gotta go, right?)

Something that seems so normal for one person can be a completely abnormal concept for another. And, it doesn’t matter the amount of explaining you do — the other person will just not “get it.” Even if they are trying their hardest to understand.

Maybe it’s because of a difference in background or culture. Maybe it’s a difference in lifestyle. Maybe it’s a difference in age or gender. Maybe it’s a difference in point of views and opinions. Maybe it’s something else.

All I know is that I can’t control how my body will feel the next day when I stay up late, which is why I don’t like to stay up late too often.

But, maybe this is just me getting older.

Or, maybe we will just never really understand each other.

Trying to be the Good Samaritan

One time I found three 20-dollar bills at the mall. Yes, so $60.

I looked around and no one was nearby. I pocketed the money and then went home to write and submit a Craigslist ad stating I had found a sum of money at a Seattle-area mall and that if you could tell me the quantity and what mall, I would return the money to you.

I received zero responses so I donated the money to one of my favorite local nonprofits.

Sometimes it’s hard being a Good Samaritan.

Take this past Sunday for example.

Bryce and I found a ring in the parking lot of Gasworks Park. It was around 10 a.m. and it was on the curb of the stall we had parked in. It looked like it could have been an engagement ring. There were three centered red-colored jewels (maybe rubies?) with two smaller diamond-types in between them.

We decided to leave it on the curb in case the owner came back looking for it.

When we returned to our car about 45 minutes later, the ring was still there.

“Now what do we do?” I asked Bryce.

He suggested we report it to the police. I made a comment that maybe the police would just keep it for themselves and that maybe taking the matter to Twitter would be more effective. I was being half-serious.

As we sat in the car, Bryce examined the ring. He said he had no idea if it was real or not.

“Oh, gosh! We cannot report a missing fake ring!” I replied.

I took the ring from him and “examined” it as well. I’m not into jewelry so I had no idea if it was just a trinket or a fancy-expensive ring. As I held it I realized that the band wasn’t cold. If this was real gold, wouldn’t the band be cold from being outside? I brought this “clue” to Bryce’s attention.

We decided that no one would have a ring with a plastic or plastic-type band with expensive jewels. We left the ring in the parking lot and told ourselves it wasn’t real.

Sometimes, it’s confusing being a Good Samaritan.

And then, last night Joanna (my roommate) and I went out for an easy post-work run together. When we returned to our apartment, Joanna noticed that a car in our apartment’s lot had its headlights on.

“I could leave a note on the car saying that if the battery is dead in the morning, they can call me? I have jumper cables!” she said.

But, then we thought one step further. We would tell our apartment manager what stall the car was parked in. Then, he could notify the tenant.

Joanna called and received our apartment manager’s voice mail. She left a detailed message and as soon as she hung up, we both said in unison, “It’s in his hands now!”

Sometimes, it’s about passing on being a Good Samaritan to others.