Time to pause and switch gears

Hello, friends —

I haven’t been running for five weeks now. I’ve been going to PT for like three weeks or so.

And, well, what I’m trying to say is, it’s really hard to go through all of this again. So, I’ve started a new blog.

www.ottertravelmore.com

Why a new blog?

Because I want to focus my time and energy on another subject that is near and dear to my heart: travel

What does this mean for this blog?

I won’t be posting as often here … but, you already knew that if you’re a frequent reader.

To be honest, writing about how I can’t run and how I am doing PT again makes me feel even worse. I started this running blog to share the highs and lows of running and training for long-distance races … but for someone who hasn’t been able to run knee pain free for more than two years, well, it just really hurts.

I’m not giving up on running.

You better believe that I am diligently doing all my PT exercises at home. You better believe I am not running until I am given the green light.

I’m just tired of writing about PT appointments. I’m just tired of people asking me how running is going, and me replying that I can’t run again.

Thank you all for your virtual support, well wishes, comments and IRL encouragement. I know I’m not the first person to go through a running injury. I just won’t be documenting it all as closely as I would have liked to. Right now, it just makes me feel worse about the whole situation.

If you want to see what I’m up to non-running-injury-wise, please follow along on otter travel more. I have two exciting trips coming up in the next few months: Colombia and New Zealand! It’ll make for a better, more up-beat time, then here for now 🙂

 

Back to the way things were

I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a run where I didn’t have any sort of knee pain, ache or discomfort.

I’ve been diligently doing my PT exercises for the past month. I haven’t noticed an improvement.

It’s frustrating. I think my friends, family and coworkers are tired of hearing me say “my knee doesn’t feel normal.”

Yet, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Didn’t you run a half marathon a few months ago?” or “Didn’t you run up a mountain doing that trail relay recently?”

Yes and yes.

For about nine months, yes, I have been running again. But, no, my knee hasn’t felt entirely 100 percent.

I could have just been having phantom pain but really, do the ghosts haunt you for nine months??

I want to be back to how things were before — where I could run and train for full marathons. I want to go back when I could run completely knee-pain free.

Does that mean going back to my sports med doc? Or to physical therapy appointments? Or, for a third opinion?

Maybe all of the above?

I’m too stubborn to not be able to really race ever again. I still have big running dreams.

June thoughts

That thing has been happening again where time feels like it’s just slipping away from me. Today is officially the first day of summer. And, with that I get a little nervous and a lot more stressed because — non-running alert — the wedding is less than three weeks away.

I haven’t been running as much recently since 1) the thoughts I wrote about a few weeks ago still hold true and 2) it’s been super hot in Seattle as of late. And, yes, by “super hot” I mean low 80s but having lived here my whole life, low 80s is super hot for me. 3) there are a million things left to do for the wedding.

What I can report back on is that last Friday I played ultimate Frisbee for the first time since before I was injured. It was the first time in more than two years that I laced up my cleats, ran around for deep hucks and tried not to make a fool out of myself.

I’m playing in a summer mixed team so it’s with a bunch of people that are randomly assigned to be on a team together. And, it has a nice mixture of experienced and more beginner players.

I was really nervous that sprinting around for two hours would aggravate my knee. Oddly enough, I had no knee pain.

This may have been the first time I had absolutely zero knee pain during exercise since before I was injured!

At first I thought I just wasn’t “noticing” my knee since sprinting around for the first time in forever was really a struggle for my lungs. I felt very out of shape. But, after a few points when I really focused on my knee, I realized that it felt normal!

I guess running around on a turf field makes a difference. I just thought sprinting wouldn’t have been ideal for the knee. I guess not.

The reluctant runner

Honestly, I’m getting tired of not being 100 percent while running.

I still don’t think I have had a single run where my knee felt completely normal. There is always slight pain, or a minor ache.

It’s been two years since I first got injured. Shouldn’t my pain be 100 percent gone by now?

With all this being said, I haven’t been running much lately. I’d rather not run than run and not feel like my normal self.

It just doesn’t feel the same. I just feel worried that I am doing more harm to my knee. It isn’t fun.

I’ll try to get out to the pool since I haven’t at all yet this summer. And, I’ll continue my PT exercises.

But, maybe in a month or two I should go back to the doctor? Or, PT? Or, both?

Just feeling like a reluctant runner these days.

Race goals for the reluctant runner

I’m racing, er, running — maybe jogging — an 8K tomorrow. I’m feeling a bit reluctant about it and I wish I was in a better mindset.

After all, I have three other friends who will be running, and Bryce will be coming out to cheer for us.

So, why the reluctance?

I have an ingrown toenail situation that had been affecting my running earlier in the week. It’s gotten better (i.e., it no longer hurts to wear close-toed shoes). But, because of that, I haven’t run much recently. And, when I have, my knee has been “acting up.”

With all that being said, I’m still going to do the race. And, here are my race goals:

1. Have fun.
2. Finish with a smile on my face.
3. Do not worry about time/pace.
4. Beat the bridge (but do not get mad if I do not).

I know, I know. Goal #3 and #4 are in direct conflict with one another. In order to “beat the bridge,” I think one needs to maintain 10 minute/mile pace. Or, a bit faster?

For those who are confused by this whole beating the bridge thing, this course has two bridge crossings and the second one is around the 2-mile mark. The bridge will go up at a specified time so a lot of runners’ goal is to beat the bridge from going up. If you get caught at the bridge while it is up, you will have to wait for a minute or so — and then continue on with the rest of your race.

But, my main goal is just to have fun.