Into the fall

And, just like that, it’s practically the end of October.

You’d think being injured and not running would give me a lot more “free time.” But, the reality is, I still feel busy.

It takes at least 30 minutes for me to adequately do all my PT exercises, which I strive to do at least five times a week. If you tack on an hour of cardio — either the stationary bike or elliptical — I find myself being at the gym for more than an hour-and-a-half!

I go to my PT appointments every other week.

My knee continues to feel the same.

It’s fall, which is usually my favorite time of year because it’s like a second new year.

But, I’m going on 17 months of being injured … and starting to get pretty anxious and annoyed with the whole situation.

So, fall, show me what you got.

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Injured runner update: No update

I went back to the doctor like two weeks ago. He said basically what I figured he would say.

To keep at it with PT. Don’t run yet because all my “hard work” of resting will be for nothing if I start back up while my body isn’t 100 percent.

I didn’t have any questions for him.

I think I knew he was going to tell me those things — or some form of it.

The big teller of it all is that when he had me lay down on my side, and when he pushed my leg down, I’m still not able to push back. My leg can still easily be pushed down.

Gotta keep strengthening those hips. Gotta keep strengthening those glutes.

Oh, and when I am walking or just sitting, gotta make sure my knees do not fall outwards. (My body naturally does this but it’s bad mechanics for runners, or just humans in general).

Am I frustrated? Yeah.

Am I going to be sad and mope about it? No.

It’s been more than a year of being injured and I’m not quitting now.

That’s the “update” for now, anyway.

 

The I-didn’t-do-anything / I-did-a-lot summer

I’m still in denial that it’s September. (Even though September is about to be over).

I want to grasp on to summer for as long as possible because I feel like I “didn’t do anything.” I didn’t get outdoors as much as I would have liked. I didn’t go on a single camping/backpacking trip. I haven’t gotten back into running from my +1 year-long injury.

Sigh … where did summer go? What have I been doing? Because, the thing is, I feel like I was busy all summer despite not feeling like I did everything I wanted to do.

When I really think long and hard about it though. I had a pretty darn good summer.

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I experienced my first total solar eclipse. Yep, my family and I drove down to Salem from Seattle and was in the line of totality. I won’t gush on and on about it but it truly was unlike anything I had ever witnessed before. And, there is a huge difference between seeing a total solar eclipse and even a 90-something percent eclipse. If you ever have a chance to see totality, do it. Trust me. (OK, done preaching).

We celebrated my dad’s retirement! Couldn’t be more proud of his dedication and work with the Boeing Company. He spent his entire career there!

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We celebrated many friends’ new marriages.

I snuck in six hikes in a row in the last six weeks! (Yes, seven weeks ago I had an “Oh no! I-haven’t-gone-on-a-single-hike-freak-out-moment.”)

I fully participated in Ragnar Trail Rainier (even if that meant not fully running it).

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Saw the Yayoi Kusama Infinity Mirrors exhibit (!!!)

Oh, and Jury Duty. That was a new experience in itself.

Summer is officially over on Friday and I’m sad to say good-bye but at the same time, I feel like I had a very complete and fulfilling summer.

Injured runner: Going back to the doctor

Not much going on at the moment.

I’ve been doing physical therapy for close to (or just about?) two months — yeah, I stopped keeping track — and am scheduled for my “last” PT appointment tomorrow with a follow-up appointment with the doctor on Friday.

I say “last” PT appointment because I have a strong inkling that the

doctor will tell me to continue with physical therapy. I’m not sure I have any other options, but we’ll see.

For those of you who have been following along closely, I’ll be seeing my second-opinion doctor — the one who referred me to PT — and not the first doctor I had been seeing who kept telling me to get MRI after MRI (after MRI). For those of you not paying close attention, I did get the first two MRIs and then went for a second opinion when I was told to get a third MRI.

I don’t really know how I feel. I still have knee pain every now and again. I’m still not running. I’ve been hiking a lot — my way of trying to hold onto summer — with no significant knee pain from the steep climbs.

Not much going on at the moment. Maybe that will change in a few days. Maybe it’ll just be the same. We’ll see.

Injured runner: The thing about PT

I don’t know if PT is going well or badly or if it’s just flat-out doing nothing.

I go weekly to my PT appointments. I do my PT exercises regularly at home. Yet, my knee pain still off and on/comes and goes. What’s your deal, knee??

What I do know is that every time I am at PT, I am literally the sweatiest person there. The other people there don’t look like they are even breaking a sweat. Meanwhile, I am dripping!

For the past few weeks, my PT has had me doing these hip/leg lifts using one of those big balls. I have to lie on my back and have the ball at my feet. Doing 2-3 reps of 15 has even my face sweating. Yes, my face!

Why am I so bad at PT?

My physical therapist and I agreed to give PT a few more weeks and if I wasn’t seeing significant improvements to my knee, I’d go back to the doctor and see what he says.

I really hope I start to see progress.

Being OK with being injured

When I reread some of my past entries about being injured, I think, “Wow, was I really that mad?”

Just as I’m sort of becoming used to the dull knee pain I experience every so often, so is my status as an injured runner.

It’s been nearly 13 months of not running and about 15 months of being injured.

I’ve cried three times (that I can recall) during this whole “injury period.” Once was after one of my doctor appointments. The other two times were actually at races.

Bryce and I were in the Bay Area in May for a friend’s wedding. We spent the weekend in San Francisco and Bryce was in the middle of training for his upcoming 40-mile race. It just so happened that we were in SF the same weekend as Bay to Breakers. Bryce did a recovery Sunday run in Golden Gate Park while I went for a walk. I stopped mid-way through my walk to watch and cheer on the Bay to Breakers runners. It was pretty entertaining with so many people in various costumes and get-ups.

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Then without realizing it, my eyes started welling up. I was overcome by a feeling of sadness that I could not do what all these people were so easily doing. I quickly pulled myself together though. And, focused more on the man dressed up as the Pope who was “blessing” all the runners that went by.

Then, the same thing happened at Bryce’s 40-miler! By no means was I jealous that I couldn’t run a 40-miler. The longest distance I have run is a 50K and I have no desire to do anything longer. So, it was weird that I started producing tears at the start of his race.

We arrived at the race with plenty of time for him to get ready. As most races go, the porta-potty line was long. While Bryce was using the restroom, the race director started making announcements to runners about the course. I walked a little closer to the huddled group of runners to catch anything important to relay to Bryce. As I stood there in the back of the crowd, again that deep feeling of sadness hit me again.

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Emotions can be weird.

Yet, through it all, I have tried to remain calm and positive.

Ask me again tomorrow or in a week, but, I’m OK with being injured.

It’s all part of my narrative.

Injured runner: Checking back in (again!)

I ghosted again without meaning to. Apologies.

I feel like I blinked and the month of August — and summer in general — has passed!

A lot has been going on, so let me try to recap as quickly and succinctly as possible so I can get to writing more detailed posts about some of these recent happenings.

  • Still continuing with PT — No significant improvement with the knee but my physical therapist isn’t concerned. I am trying to stay calm and not get worked up about the fact that I’m not out running and the dull pain still comes and goes on my knee.
  • Participated in Ragnar Rainier the other week!
  • Haven’t swam in like a month but have been very diligent about doing my PT exercises nearly every day and going to the gym after work each day.
  • Trying to go on as many hikes as possible as I hold on to summer.

OK, no more ignoring the blog. I promise.