I could tell by his words that this would be the last time I’d be seeing him. Like most break-ups, I felt a bit sad. My physical therapist was dumping me.
“So, I don’t need to schedule any more appointments?” I asked, knowing the answer but, still wanting to double check.
He was excited for me but I felt uncertain.
I know I should be happy to not have to go to PT anymore. I know this means that I am getting stronger and that I am getting closer to being my “normal running self” again.
After all, I did run a trail 5K a few weeks ago (and came in second!)
But, even with that, I don’t have the confidence to run on my own again.
What if I continue to slowly increase mileage, do my PT exercises and massage out my stiff knee but the pain still continues or becomes worse? What if I re-injury myself? How will I know when I’m ready to tackle a half-marathon and then a marathon?
I suppose after more than five months of PT, I just need to take the plunge and try.
I swam, biked, walked and hiked during the early stages of my injury when I couldn’t run at all. I took some yoga classes. I joined a gym for the first time in my life! I consistently went to PT (and actually did my PT exercises at home on my own). I even got to run on the Alt-G treadmill at PT several times! I patiently waited and waited until I could run again. When I could run, I painfully did my “Return to Running” program that involved a lot of run/walking.
It’s been a long year — or, year-and-a-half? I stopped counting! — of recovery.
I’ve clearly done all of the work. Now I just need to believe and have trust in it all. I need to believe in myself as a runner again.