I kind of feel like an imposter — at my job.
Example: I wore a lab coat for the first time the other day — the first time ever.
“Didn’t you wear a lab coat in high school science?” Nope, my school didn’t have that. “What about in chemistry?” Nope, the only science I ever took in college was astronomy.
I work at a hospital now in clinical research. On my first day, about two weeks ago, I felt like a walk through the cafeteria was reminiscent of a scene from “Scrubs.” I updated my LinkedIn profile a few days ago and felt slightly uncomfortable changing my industry from “newspapers” to “hospital and health care.” Not a bad uncomfortable, it’s just new, different. (Today I had one of my best workdays in my history of workdays!)
The two people before me in the position I am taking both left to go to medical school — to become doctors. I have had multiple people at the hospital ask upon meeting me if med school is in my future. My response is always a small chuckle with “I don’t think so.” In my head I’m thinking, “Me? Med school?? BAH HA HA HA!” They don’t know I am
sort of scared of needles. They don’t know I don’t like the sight of blood. They don’t know I currently do not have a primary care doctor and haven’t gotten a physical since I was in high school. (Don’t worry though, I recently got a copy of my immunization history and I am all up-to-date with all my shots).
I may have to learn how to draw blood for my job as a research assistant sometime in the future — we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
I wonder if this is what people feel like when they “start over.” Who knows though, maybe in a few years’ time, I’ll be talking about medical school, too. (Those who know me well are probably rolling their eyes and trying not to laugh). One research coordinator at the hospital, who will actually be attending med school at Harvard, said I would make a “good doctor” because I have a nice smile. If only a “nice smile” is what it took …
For now, I’ll just work on being comfortable watching people get their blood drawn.