We’re OK

My problem is that I tend to over-think, over-analyze everything. It’s not uncommon for a quick trip to the grocery store for bread to turn into a half hour of debating whether or not I want to also get pickles or olives.

So, when real situations or problems, arise that have to do with real people, a million of thoughts come to mind. But, the problem is that they aren’t just thoughts that are forming. There are real feelings, real emotions that are connected to these thoughts.

I know in the end everything will be OK. I won’t let it not be OK. But, for right now, I can’t stop feeling and thinking.

And, it’s really tiring.

The uncertainty is scary.

My whole life is sort of a big question-mark right now. Working in clinical research, one would assume “the path” I am following is in healthcare and medicine. But, I don’t know what any of that really is. I was a journalism major, after all. But, questioning where I’ll be in five years career-wise actually doesn’t scare me that much. I know it will all work out. I know I will be happy — hard work always pays off, and I am always a hard worker. I know I’ll be OK.

But, when placing this same outlook on other people, in real relationships, with real feelings and emotions, I start worrying myself. I start to think too much. No one wants to lose their best friend.

The uncertainty is scary.

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