Some say I over-analyze everything. This may be true. I’d also like to add that I just have a really good imagination.
The other day while at a luncheon for a local Republican group — yes, I felt like I wanted to burn my clothes afterward but we’ll save that talk for another time and yes, I was there to cover a story for work — about 10 children swiftly walked past me while I sat in the back of the room for the guest speaker to begin his talk. Why is this interesting? As they walked past with their string instruments — they were there to play some patriotic tunes before the lunch began — I thought I might throw up. As each child walked by I felt like they were moving very quickly. Watching them made me feel dizzy. Then a sudden thought came to me: whoa, I have vertigo. Why is everything spinning?
I don’t know why I felt that way. Probably dehydration. I’m always quick to think that “something is wrong with me” when things like that happen … kind of like when my heart skips a beat and I think I am about to go into cardiac arrest. I know this sounds like I am trying to be funny but once every so often I can “feel” my heart. And not in the “I’m-Taylor-Swift-and-I’m-going-to-write-a-song-about-how-my-heart-feels-after-being-in-love-with-another-boy-for-the-ninth-time-this-year.” Every so often I feel my heart pound and I have a brief 15-second panic that it may stop beating.
The last few times this has happened I have been alone at home. Not only do I panic because I am fearful that I may go unconscious, I begin to have a train of thought that no one will find my body for days because of the fact that I live alone. (Another downside to living alone is that there is no one else to help you open tight jars.)
Usually I snap out of my crazy “I’m going to die now” thinking by 1.) telling myself I am crazy and to stop thinking 2.) breathing 3.) drinking — preferably water.
But opening tight marinara sauce jars is a fight of its own. One time it took me nearly 15 minutes to get a jar open. I had to get my friend on the phone as she walked me through the steps on a wiki-how-to as I was nearly in tears. Don’t worry, I was having a stressful week to begin with. Normally I’m normal.