When thinking leads to panic to normalcy

Some say I over-analyze everything. This may be true. I’d also like to add that I just have a really good imagination.

The other day while at a luncheon for a local Republican group — yes, I felt like I wanted to burn my clothes afterward but we’ll save that talk for another time and yes, I was there to cover a story for work — about 10 children swiftly walked past me while I sat in the back of the room for the guest speaker to begin his talk. Why is this interesting? As they walked past with their string instruments — they were there to play some patriotic tunes before the lunch began — I thought I might throw up. As each child walked by I felt like they were moving very quickly. Watching them made me feel dizzy. Then a sudden thought came to me: whoa, I have vertigo. Why is everything spinning?

I don’t know why I felt that way. Probably dehydration. I’m always quick to think that “something is wrong with me” when things like that happen … kind of like when my heart skips a beat and I think I am about to go into cardiac arrest. I know this sounds like I am trying to be funny but once every so often I can “feel” my heart. And not in the “I’m-Taylor-Swift-and-I’m-going-to-write-a-song-about-how-my-heart-feels-after-being-in-love-with-another-boy-for-the-ninth-time-this-year.” Every so often I feel my heart pound and I have a brief 15-second panic that it may stop beating.

The last few times this has happened I have been alone at home. Not only do I panic because I am fearful that I may go unconscious, I begin to have a train of thought that no one will find my body for days because of the fact that I live alone. (Another downside to living alone is that there is no one else to help you open tight jars.)

Usually I snap out of my crazy “I’m going to die now” thinking by 1.) telling myself I am crazy and to stop thinking 2.) breathing 3.) drinking — preferably water.

But opening tight marinara sauce jars is a fight of its own. One time it took me nearly 15 minutes to get a jar open. I had to get my friend on the phone as she walked me through the steps on a wiki-how-to as I was nearly in tears. Don’t worry, I was having a stressful week to begin with.  Normally I’m normal.

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2 thoughts on “When thinking leads to panic to normalcy

  1. Sounds like you’re a hypochondriac.

    My trick for getting jars open? Bang side of the lid against the ground. Works like a charm 🙂

  2. I really enjoyed this, mainly because of the jars. Although the heart pounding does happen to me sometimes, and it’s terrifying. Also, sometimes as I’m about to fall asleep my left leg twitches…which is strange.

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